Turns out to be a formula, Tom

Whilst lurgied the other week, I re-read Tom Wolfe’s The Bonfire of the Vanities and A Man in Full; two rather fat tomes – felt like I was sharing my sick-bed with a couple of cinder blocks. They were easy-reading and not terribly challenging, which was the point, and I suppose a preparation for reading his new novel, I am Charlotte Simmons, sometime this year.

Reading them back-to-back, the similarities became very obvious. The multi-stranded structure from Bonfire is replicated in A Man, and why not, Tom? The first one got rave reviews, didn’t it? It’s over ten years between their publications, no-one will remember much from the first novel. We’ll relocate to Atlanta, of course, so we can exercise some of our Southern Gentleman sensibilities. We’ll remake our Wall Street Banker (Master of the Universe) into property developer (rather redneck), and knock a few more edges off; they both turn out different in the end anyway. We’ll centre the plot on racist goings on, which worked out OK in NYC, and we’ll use the same template for a larger-than-life black reverend who tries to take advantage of the situation in a pretty dubious way. Wives are honest and worthy; mistresses are younger and more alluring. A few of the less attractive sidekicks get their comeuppance. Frankly, it is writing to a template.

And whilst Bonfire got the better reviews, I actually preferred A Man in Full. It was funnier, and the style reflected the good ol’ boy pace, unlike the tougher, gritty urban milieu of the former.

I trust that Charlotte Simmons will have broken out of the formula.

A perfect 10

Cruised to the Americana-UK site this morning, to find a 10 out of 10 review for Josh Rouse's new album, Nashville.

Josh Rouse leaves Nashville but records the record of his life just before he does.

I have got one Josh Rouse record, Dressed Up Like Nebraska, which was fine... but not earthshaking enough to make me rush out any buy any more. I eschewed the highly rated 1972 from a year or so ago.

Still, I don't recall many perfect reviews on the Americana-UK site (and you gotta extend some respect, because their two top records of 2004 are the same as mine), so I'll probably have a crack at this one - it's released next month.

It's in the damn DNA

US President George W. Bush is descended from Norman nobleman Richard de la Clare, known as "Strongbow," who led the invasion of Ireland in the 12th century, Irish genealogists said.

Does that mean he is genetically predisposed to invade countries starting with "Ir"?

Following on

I prefer to describe myself as a "contemporary anthropological interactive observer" because it has just the right amount of flair. Besides... "stalker" is such an ugly word.

Consumption be done about it? Of cough!

I have had an atrocious lurgy since Sunday. Amidst this enforced R&R, I have learnt of a scientific marvel. Cough medicine is the stickiest substance known to man (although I do not discount the possibility that small children could come up with something stickier if set the challenge).

The pharmaceutical companies must have a helluva time when making it, because, sharing the pain, they feel compelled to sell this stuff to us in a “guaranteed-to-drip” bottle. No matter how diligent you are when pouring out cough mixture into one of those ludicrous plastic dosing spoons, it will drip down the side of the bottle. Speed is irrelevant, and you can apply all the wrist snaps and bottle flourishes with which a master sommelier keeps the cabernet drip off the white tablecloth, to no avail. It will drool and it will drip down the side of the bottle.

And the drip will not be removed. Try and wipe that bottle clean. Wipe that bottle until the label comes off in shreds. You can guarantee that when you pick up the cough medicine bottle for your next dose, it will be sticky. Yep, on your fingers, fly-paper sticky. Not only that, but every other container which is in any sort of proximity to it, in the medicine cabinet or drugs drawer, will also be sticky. This is contagious sticky. And it’s cumulative – every dose from that bottle inevitably adds to the stickiness.

In fact, the stuff isn’t that sticky in the gluey sense of the word. Sure, it is sticky enough to adhere the bottle into its own cardboard box; ripping off the box in sections is always a prelude to the second or third dose from that bottle, in my experience. And sticky enough to gum your fingers to the bottle, and then your fingers to the next five things you pick up. But it probably won’t take over from tar in the “tar and feathering” game either.

However, it must be the stickiest thing known to man when you add in the tenacity factor. Because it just does not give up. The Duracell Bunny has nothing on this stuff. It's like magma. Years later, when any ordinary substance would have dried up or melted away, the cough syrup drips on the outside of the bottle will still be sticky.

A scientific marvel indeed, just itching to find a practical and useful application. If only it stopped you coughing.

Music: borborygmus 2004

In a High Fidelity moment, I made a compilation CD of the best tracks of 2004. In the old days, as in the book, one made compilation tapes. I can't recall how many tracks you could get on a C90, but with a CD, I was able to cram on 19 tracks.

1. Surf's Up
   Brian Wilson from SMiLE


2. Hey Girl
   Delays from Faded Seaside Glamour


3. Each Coming Night
   Iron & Wine from Our Endless Numbered Days


4. Leaving New York
   REM from Around the Sun


5. Portland Oregon
   Loretta Lynn from Van Lear Rose


6. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
   U2 from How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb


7. Home to Houston
   Steve Earle from The Revolution Starts... Now


8. Other Side of the World
   KT Tunstall from Eye to the Telescope


9. Post to Wire
   Richmond Fontaine from Post to Wire


10. Goodbye Is All We Have
    Alison Krauss & Union Station from Lonely Runs Both Ways


11. Forever My Friend
    Ray LaMontagne from Trouble


12. Section 12: Hold Me Now
    The Polyphonic Spree from Together We're Heavy


13. Handshake Drugs
    Wilco from A Ghost Is Born


14. Mona Lisa
    Grant Lee Phillips from Virginia Creeper


15. Amie
    Damien Rice from O


16. As Far As I Know
    Paul Westerberg from Folker


17. The Day John Henry Died
    Drive-By Truckers from The Dirty South


18. Steve McQueen
    Lambchop from Aw C'Mon/No You C'Mon


19. London Calling
    The Clash from London Calling: 25th Anniversary Legacy Edition

I lied about the "best tracks of 2004" - some come from records released in 2003, but, probably because they were at the end of the year, didn't appear on my radar until 2004. Therefore, they couldn't have been on my "best tracks of 2003" compilation, and so I've rescued them from a potential inter-year purgatory. And if I was really pedantic, I'd probably just pick all the tracks from Post to Wire and A Ghost is Born, and call them the best.

Just a few notes to justify the list. I am sure that if Brian Wilson released SMiLE in the late 60's, it would have been an even worse commercial failure than Pet Sounds - was the pop world ready for this? It's been one of the few albums which I have made time to just sit and listen to - not in the car, not writing or working, just sitting on the sofa, musing at the CD sleeve and hearing the music. With a theme of early Americana, it is a delightful work. I wonder how many people have made the comparison with the likes of, say, Aaron Copland (Billy the Kid)? And harmonies to die for.

The Delays have been the soundtrack to many of my gym sessions this year; uplifting and bouncy. Pity there were not enough gym sessions... Iron & Wine is modern folk music, laid back and relaxing. REM made a slightly disappointing record by their standards, and U2 did the reverse. Loretta Lynn, 70 year old country music icon, was produced by the Red Stripes' Jack White, and they made a sprightly and strong recording.

Demi-god Steve Earle's 2004 album was probably not a good as the preceding Jerusalem, but the man cannot do much wrong. KT Tunstall is the star of my music TV moment of the year, an appearance on Later... with Jools Holland, where she performed Black Horse & The Cherry Tree. She built the song up layer by layer with just voice, guitar and tambourine, effectively multi-tracking the whole thing... live.

Richmond Fontaine are the discovery of the year - thanks, Uncut magazine. Alison Krauss... yes, bluegrass, but what a voice. Ray LaMontagne is a grower. The Polyphonic Spree and the Drive-By Truckers are both here as a result of a sampler CD from Paste magazine.

Wilco were the first and best band we saw at Glastonbury this year; they also produced a great and challenging album. Prog-country? Grant Lee Phillips is accomplished. Damien Rice soaring (missed him at Glastonbury, too muddy). The Replacements passed me by at the time (or I passed them by...), but I discovered the solo Paul Westerberg this year. The Stereo/Mono set from 2002 is actually my favourite, but since I had to get him into the list, Folker will do. Lambchop soundtrack. The Clash are... 'nuff said.

Fancy dress? Gott im Himmel!

In the morning, Radio 4 is our tipple. I was awoken at 6am this morning by a very posh voice - Fergie, Duchess of York. She explained that, despite losing a lot of weight (and earning a lot of dosh) with Weight Watchers, she still had a big arse.... and his name was Harry, her nephew.

I think that's what she said; it was early and I was half asleep.

Rather uncomfortable - Yahoo!

Got into the office this morning to find that my 'net homepage not functioning. I have a customised "My Yahoo!" page which doles up the latest news, exchange rates, the odd cartoon, etc.

I also have all my most-used links on it... which is where the trouble started. Didn't really need the news, but I had to get to some webpages in order to function. The handy links (Yahoo calls them Bookmarks) weren't there, and I have, typically, no obvious backup of the links (like in Favourites..duh).

It is all back up now, and I did survive, but it was another uncomfortable experience, like when your e-mail doesn't work, or, horrors, 'net access fails altogether. Isn't is stupid to rely on a third party to store something on the 'net for you, especially if you need it 24/7?

Which I suppose puts all of us who use Hotmail or Gmail as the primary e-mail service in the same bin.

Welcome!

This is just a test. I'm interested in this blog idea; it may be an easy way to share stuff.